Artist's Statement
"When you disguise yourself you immediately feel more
powerful,"
--David Page
I am intrigued with the constantly altering nature of internal and external identity, specifically the differences between what a person looks like and their internal condition. I have centered an examination of myself via self-portraiture only because I am the only human I can evaluate from both an internal and external perspective. Through various approaches to self-portraiture which include drawings, marionettes and the installed environment, I want to set up a dialogue between the metamorphic nature of self image, the internal and external landscape, and the potential for a viewer to become the author of a work as well as its audience on the basis of a shared humanity.
The self-portraiture in my work takes the form of charcoal drawings
on paper and articulated puppet forms installed in an environment.
Both types of portraits are designed around my facial and body
structure but are not intended to be strict representations of
my appearance. Instead, the two versions of portraits are intended
to be records of specific internal and external conditions that
I feel define my identity. These records contain a heightened
sense of emotion and dramatic flair that I perceive as necessary
elements to engage and communicate effectively with an audience.
The portraits also function as masks as no one portrait is an
exact match of either my appearance or internal condition but
rather a stylized version of it, emphasizing elements of the body
and face I feel to be most expressive of specific states of mind.
The series of portraits can be realized as a continuum--a metamorphic
timeline, reflecting various versions of myself over a set period.
The portraits, (excepting the large façade-like triptych)
are drawn on similarly sized paper and hung at eye level so that
they might mimic a series of mirrors; reflecting what I saw while
drawing myself and also potentially mirroring aspects of an audience's
own internal conditions.
I believe self-portraits are about isolation. Artists of the past
drew and painted themselves because they were always around even
when models were unavailable or were too costly. I draw myself
because I wish to explore how isolation has affected me; specifically
how I create images of myself as a detached and directionless
entity. It is difficult to explain the necessity to draw oneself-to
re-create one's image is an attempt to validate one's existence
by documenting it. I house a great fear of having nothing to leave
behind--every moment brings changes which alters both the validity
of a self-portrait and the individual on which it was based. When
I have finished a portrait I feel I have made a document of a
moment; a specific state of emotional and physical being that
may or may not exist again. While I am interested in showing a
resemblance to myself I am also interested in showing myself as
a potential 'everyman' figure--a specific example of flawed humanity,
a highly emotive, precariously sensitive female human with a distinct
desire for inclusion.
Contemporary Norwegian artist Odd Nerdrum has made his own tradition
as a 'self revealer' and self-appointed narcissist. Painting in
the style of the old Baroque masters, Nerdrum's self portraits
quote directly from the portrait style of Rembrandt's age in both
composition and costume. Nerdrum's self portraits and narratives
operate with the unified theme of "showing man's innermost
self, to provide us with a mirror of the soul. The mirrored soul
Nerdrum would show most often was, like in Rembrandt's case, his
own," (Pettersson, 1998). "I am in everyone and reappear
in everybody. It takes one to know one," says Nerdrum. In
this slightly flippant but apparently serious statement, there
is an element of truth. To closely examine one's own nature often
bleeds light onto the nature of others.
The sense of confrontation in a self-portrait is largely controlled
by the gaze of the subject, directional lighting and suggestion
of physical presence through lifelike scale. In Rembrandt's "Self
Portrait with Beret and Turned up Collar" executed in 1659,
there is a great sense of contact between the painted surface
and the viewer. By using a dramatic and uniform lighting, the
specific flaws and textures that make up Rembrandt's aging face
are clearly visible. A viewer can sense the stories inherent in
the artist's facial landscape. Rembrandt chose to paint himself
in the extreme foreground of the picture plane, emphasizing his
importance as the only focus in the work; the background is vacantly
dark and thus highlights him further. The specificity of Rembrandt's
self-portrait emphasizes his role as a member of mortal humanity.
There is a vulnerability and honesty in his self-portrayal generated
by specific unflinching detail and a direct un-romanticized portrayal
of facial incongruities. However, the grandness of the size of
the head, direct clear gaze and fine state of dress he paints
himself in reminds us that he holds himself in a certain high
regard. I intend for my drawn portraits to function with a definite
sense of aliveness; with the idea that the being portrayed through
line is of a very specific self.
I desire people to take the time to dissect my work. I very consciously
construct my pictures so the formal elements of a composition
contribute to the content of the portrait. The figural drawings
I create often exist in ambiguously stark environments. The majority
of the portraits have simple backgrounds to emphasize the isolation
and spiritual vacuum the subject exists in. I have chosen charcoal
as my main drawing tool because the high contrast of black lines
on white paper is elegant and dramatic. I feel color would distract
from the harshness and immediacy of the forms. I believe excessive
tonality would also be a detriment. My drawings might appear unfinished
but the athletic gestural quality of line is very much connected
with how I wish the images to be read. Immediacy of the documentation
in the portraits is important as the internal conditions I am
trying to record in the portrait are fleeting and impossible to
retain.
I engineer interactivity in my work, both through how the directed
gaze of a portrait confronts or avoids a viewer and the environment
in which the drawings are experienced. The scale of the drawings
is life size or larger to facilitate a viewer's involvement with
the portraits. I wanted the portraits to be large enough to seem
as if they lead life beyond the paper's surface. The work of Italian
17th century Baroque master Caravaggio has been a large influence
on my work as his virtuosity with portraying convincing human
forms has always been an inspiration. Site-specific to the areas
they were painted, Caravaggio's altarpieces sought to involve
a viewer in the scene as though s/he could at any moment enter
the action of a work. While I am not interested in painting in
a church, where Caravaggio's site-specific paintings were executed,
I am interested in utilizing the space of the gallery as an arena
to display internal conditions. The figures in Caravaggio's works
were often large enough that figures were approximately life-size
or larger. These compositional features make the forms in a work
more accessible, and more theatrically 'real'. I employ this Baroque
notion to create monumental and potentially intimidating drawings.
Theatrical stages are arenas for metamorphoses, as changes constantly
occur in both the images presented on a stage, the characters
involved, and the narrative of the play. The immediacy and visceral
impact inherent of being audience and participant in a theatrical
space are elements I want to fuse with traditional self-portraiture.
I am using installation art as one might construct a stage set;
making a space to serve a narrative, house an audience and promote
interaction between the art object and the viewer. Louise Bourgeois,
a French sculptor and installation artist, made a series of five
square 'cells' in 1993, which took the form of wire cages and
operated as autobiographical allegories. The entrance to one cell
in particular, The Arch of Hysteria, was unique among the
five others because an enclosure of metal doors blocked all sight
of the interior, forcing spectators to pass through a walled corridor.
This tactic emphasized the element of surprise. I am attempting
to use the same element of the unknown by placing part of my work
through and archway and behind a curtain-the audience must breach
the boundary I have placed before them to see what lies beyond
it. "When you experience pain, you can withdraw and protect
yourself. But the security of the lair can also be a trap,"
Bourgeois says. I have made my installation space as a refuge;
it is a place I am housing a version of myself in, a version of
myself that is grotesque, which is in pain, hidden behind a curtain
in the same manner as a carnival sideshow freak. The 'lair' I
have created is both a repository and a prison. The creation an
art-containment space allows the artist to manipulate how viewers
experience that art. Installation art is largely based on how
it can manipulate the viewer's experience of time and visceral
response. I am very interested in manipulating the experience
and interpretation of my art by utilizing such theatrical measures.
The work of Julie Taymor, a contemporary director and designer
of numerous original and adapted theatrical productions, utilizes
masks and puppetry as a defining element in her art, exploiting
the virtuosity of puppets to add both physical and thematic dimension
to her interpretations of various plays. (Blumenthal, 1995). In
Taymor's work with psychodrama, the power of the mask was emphasized:
"If you can put on another face," Taymor says, "you
can hide your own persona, and other parts that are locked away
will be able to gain expression-which is why masks are liberating
for the actor," The puppet and mask behave as stylizing elements,
which simplify and focus aspects of human nature and the individual.
Masks and puppets can also imply entire physical characters by
referencing various cultural traditions. Puppets manipulate an
audiences' impression about the nature of identity and aliveness
(Blumenthal, 1995). Manipulated from an unseen source, they become
an illusion of life and carry with them references to theatrical
magic and fantasy. I utilize the puppet to give an illusion of
dimension and animation in a kind of self-portraiture that is
unattainable through drawing alone. The presence of two marionette
forms (i.e. the vulture and the woman) exist in my work to form
an allegorical narrative that is intended to reflect both traditional
and personal themes. The vulture has clear relations to death
and decay and its display alongside the grotesquely scaled female
form might indicate that she (a version of myself) is in danger
of death or is in a state of decay. The marionettes are actors
in an internal stage set that is my mind. Various interpretation
of the imagery is not only allowed, but it is encouraged. By presenting
versions of myself in varied contexts I am not only experimenting
with the language of self-portraiture; I am experimenting with
the universal human language of the body.
The installation space can be seen as a walk-in version of my
body. The archway I have constructed functions as a transition
between the traditional gallery environment and an individualized
space. The arch is intended to be a passage between the abstract
sense of internal and external space I have indicated in the drawings
as well as a literal conduit to a space that is walled off from
the rest of the gallery. The act of the audience's physical experience
of penetrating a portal might well be associated with transversing
a body passage. The archway's appearance simultaneously suggests
an organic structure resonant of art nouveau designs, as well
as indicating the entrance to a theatrical space (i.e. the red
velvet curtain). Theatrical stages are arenas for metamorphoses,
as changes constantly occur in both the images presented on a
stage, the characters involved, and the narrative of the performance.
The immediacy and visceral impact inherent with being audience
and participant in a theatrical space are elements I reference
in my work.
To facilitate interaction and absorption of the work, I am placing
the two kinds of portraits in and around a constructed environment,
so that they function on more than one sensory level and complement
each other. The portraits both possess the installation space
as well as being contained by it and a viewer is penetrating the
space, to view and feel and listen to what it might say. I wish
to explore elements of myself in self-portraiture for the purposes
of diagnosing my own character as well as commenting on the value
of identities that are inherent (i.e. unguarded, non-affected
states) as opposed to invented (i.e. dramaticized alter-egos).
What is outside, our face, our body, our behavior is what others
can see and evaluate, and what is inside is ours, what we can
hide or reveal at will. The degree to which we are honest with
ourselves is reflected in the façades we display.
I have found the later cartoon-narrative style of Philip Guston
to be an element of peculiar interest. The iconographic cartoon-like
style he adopted replaced his work in abstract expressionism,
which was in 1960's America, the 'art of the moment'. His style
was specific in that it provided clarity to the message he intended
to convey, which was the conditions of his own creative process
and identity as an artist. Guston was interested in translating
what was going on inside his own mind into representational imagery.
By ignoring the style of art that was 'en vogue' in the 1960's
and creating his own style, Guston made a genuine attempt to paint
an individual-specific truth. Resorting to iconic/stylized objects
and figures, Guston often represented himself in his later paintings
as a monocular, balding head. "I got sick and tired of all
that Purity," Guston said in defense of his later style,
"I wanted to tell stories."
Like Guston, I wish to explore the many stories inherent in my
identity. I fear that my artistic aspirations will appear shallow
to an uninformed public and are only concerned with a 'sick' kind
of self-obsession. I understand that a fascination with one's
own image and identity could be construed as narcissistic. These
are things I am quite aware of and accept. They are also character
traits that I am not arrogant enough to assume I monopolize. "The
mirror, for me, is not a symbol of vanity, the mirror is the courage
to look yourself in the face," declares Louise Bourgeois.
In Bourgeois' interpretation of the myth, it is "impossible
to decide whether Narcissus drowned himself because he was infatuated
with his own beauty or because he could not accept his own image,"
(Bernadac, 1996). Thus, the issue of an obsessive self-examination
can be understood as an act of self-criticism under the perceived
guise of infatuation. My work with self-portraiture can safely
be understood as operating within this boundary.
Work Cited:
1.) Bernadac, Marie-Laure. Louise Bourgeois. Flammarion. Paris-New
York, 1996.
2.) Blumenthal, Eileen and Julie Taymor. Julie Taymor: Playing
with Fire. Harry N. Abrams, Inc., Publishers. New York, 1995.
3.) Calvesi, Maurizio. Caravaggio. Giunti Publishing Group, Florence.
1998.
4.) Rheims, Maurice. Hector Guimard. Harry N. Abrams, Inc., Publishers.
New York, 1988.
5.) Petterson, Jan Ake. Odd Nerdrum: Storyteller and Self-Revealer.
Schehoug & Co. Oslo, Norway, 1998.
6.) Storr, Robert. Guston. Abbeville Press, New York. 1986.
7.) White, Christopher and Quentin Buvelot. Rembrandt by Himself.
Yale University Press. London, 1999.